So this is a spur of the moment kind of deal, but in the 5 or so months I have been (mostly) absent there have been a few people (more than I would have expected) who have actually written and asked how I was. Even more surprising is that they don't really know who I am, other than the drivel I've spewed forth here. So this is payback for them. Sweet, sweet payback.

And I totally stole this from AuntConi, who in turn stole it from the Dread PirateGal.

What is your full name?
Angry White Male. Heavyarms to you.

What are you most afraid of?
Spiders. Seriously.

What is the most recent movie that you have seen on bootleg?
E.T. when I was a kid. Some dude brought his JVC camera into the theater and filmed the whole thing.

Place of birth?
Alexandria. Virginia, Louisiana, or Egypt. Can't remember.

Favorite food is?
Pizza, or chinese. Also, true Barbecue,

What is your natural hair color?
Dirty Blonde

Ever been to Freak Nick?
Freak what?
Freak Nick.
What Nick?
FREAK NICK!
what what?

Ever been skinny-dipping?
Multiple times. Always alone.

Love someone so much they made you cry?
Do Transformers count? My wife, maybe. I try not to cry since guys like John Wayne and Conan don't.

Been in a car accident?
Three. One serious.

Croutons or bacon bits?
both.

Favorite day of the week would be?
The ones that aren't filled with suckage.

Favorite restaurant?
Several. None are national chains.

Favorite sport to watch?
REAL Football (i.e. American.) Hockey. Auto Racing (all kinds). Baseball if I'm actually at the ball park.

Favorite drink?
Coke. Sometimes with his good friend Jack. Also...beer.

Favorite ice cream?
It used to be Breyer's French Vanilla. (Remember milk, cream, sugar, eggs?) Now they put "tara gum" in it, whatever the hell that is. My favorite ice cream now is what I make at home.

Warner Brothers/Disney?
neither.

Ever been on a ship?
Never at sea. I have visited the USS Kidd, USS Alabama, USS Drum, USS Missouri, and, proudly, the USS Arizona memorial.

What color is your bedroom carpet?
An off-white berber affair that needs to be replaced.

How many times did you fail your driver's test?
Did not fail, but I missed the maximum number of questions you could miss and still pass. Kicked ass on the driving portion.

What do you do when you are bored?
I am never bored.

What time is bedtime?
I'd say between the hours of 10pm and 3am, though here lately midnight is pushing it.

Favorite TV shows?
Good Eats, Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations, Battlestar Galactica, South Park, Heroes, Lost, Deadliest Catch, anything on the History Channel about WWII, The X-Files, Futurama

Last person you went to dinner with?
My wife.

Park or Zoo?
My kids would prefer a zoo, so I gotta go with that.

What are your favorite colors?
Well, most of my t-shirts are black, so black I guess.

How many tattoos do you have?
Tattoos are retarded.

How many pets do you have?
One. Anybody want a yellow lab that sleeps, digs, and chews too much?

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
My scientific mind says egg. My religious mind say chicken.
Actual answer: *shrug*

What do you want to do before you die?
Make sure my family doesn't need anything else from me.

Have you ever been to Hawaii?
Yup. Plan to return.

Have you been to countries outside the U.S.?
Nope