The hospital bracelet is a way for hospital staff to identify you as being "you" and not someone else. So in the interest of safety and security, my pre-op nurse promptly removed it and stuck it to the shoulder of my hospital gown when she had difficulty sticking a six inch IV needle into the only vein visible on my arm. I am not a squemish person, I could watch the person next to me get disemboweled and not bat an eyelash. I have set my own broken bone before (which was, incidentally, poking through my skin.) I can not, however, handle the sight of my own blood and usually don't watch myself get an IV. So when the nurse has difficulty getting the needle in the vein, and then shoves the tip of the needle up to my armpit once she does, and finishes with the phrase "Oops, I made a mess" and begins swabbing at my arm, the conversation we subsequently had consisted of "Are you feeling okay?" "No, I'm fine" "Are you sure, you look a little pale." That's all I remember for two or three minutes. Fortunately, once I regained conciousness, I saw that I had NOT sprayed the waiting room with arterial blood as originally feared. The nurse was petite, blond, and cute so I gave her a pass.

Suprisingly, I didn't have to do much waiting, despite being there 2 hours before my surgery. Normally, when you go to the doctor, and your appointment is at 9:30, you get there at 9:30, wait for 10 minutes to an hour in the wating room. Then you have your name called, get ushered to another smaller waiting room, and wait some more. (Then the doctor breezes in, spends about five minutes with you, pronounces you "have a bug that is going around" and bills your insurance company for 2 grand.) Not much waiting here.

SIDE NOTE: Is there a COMFORTABLE way to ask, when told "we're going to need you to provide a sample," for clarification on the TYPE of sample requested? I was presented with this situtation on the morning of my surgery. I panicked. "Surely they don't want THAT kind of sample? There's no way I can get in the mood for that NOW." So I whizzed in the little plastic cup provided hoped for the best.

Once everything was ready, I was wheeled into the operating room, where my best friend, the anesthesiologist (sp?), his assistant, my op nurse, and some other chick in scrubs and a mask were waiting. The two gas passers fussed over me and slipped me some of the good stuff, while the op nurse was strapping me in (Is it going to be some sort of ride?) The chick was just staring in the general direction of my crotchular area, which made me slightly uncomfortable. Then I realized that, counting my doctor, HIS nurse, and the other four people in the room, that I'd have little Jimi and his Band of Gypsys out in front of more people than he's ever been out in front of in my life. By one person. This made me slightly more uncomfortable, but then I passed out.

I awoke in the recovery room thinking "Jesus, my balls are cold and numb." I attributed this to the anesthetic. I wasn't awake for 30 seconds before the recovery nurse was bringing me my clothes and saying "Get dressed and we'll get you out of here." Spent maybe 10 minutes in recovery before I'm getting wheeled out to the car. Once I got home, I realized the coldness/numbness was due to a rubber glove with ice water stuffed down the front of my pants. High tech healthcare, right there. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, and I was fairly comfortable that day and the three days I didn't have to go to work after that.

So there's my review. I give the Ballectomy it 1 3/4 balls out of 2.

Coming Soon!
Review of Kurosawa's Seven Samurai. Finally got this classic on DVD, after watching it so many times on VHS. Or with commercials. Yuck!