Anyway, I thought they'd try to scare me out of if. You know, "You'll NEVER be able to have another child. Here are all the SCARY side effects you might encounter." However, the consult basically consisted of "Are you sure?" (to me) "Are YOU sure?" (to my wife.) "All right, here's what you'll have to do. Get a razor...Here's the possible side effects...frozen corn and frozen peas work well...you won't be able to pick things up for seven days." "If you change your mind, we won't get upset."

That was it, no big deal. I thought it would be something major, but it wasn't. You can look for a Ballectomy Procedure review in a couple of weeks. Oh the pain! The pain of it all!

Anyway, we arrived at American Airlines Center a full three-and-a-half hours before game time. There's a cool shopping center etc. around the AAC. Unfortunately, currently it only exists as an artist's concept and an empty frame outside the AAC. I'm sure it is going to kick ass once it's completed. So we wandered around the AAC. Fortunately, the Fan Shop's hours were Mon-Sat from 10 to 5. Unfortunately, the Saturday we were there didn't qualify. The gates to the AAC opened at 11:30, and the Fan Shop still hadn't opened at that time. We grabbed some overpriced pizza at the Pizza Hut concession and headed to our seats.

There's NOTHING to do at the AAC prior to game time. There's no Stars or Mavs Hall of Fame, there's no pictures of great moments past, there isn't jack. They need to work on this.

The game itself was great. The Wild drew first blood, but the Stars responded with just 19 seconds remaining in the first period. Then in the 2nd, the Stars got two goal within minutes and carried a 3-1 lead through the middle of the third. The Wild were outshooting the Stars and it came back to haunt them with two Wild goals in the span of about 10 seconds. Stars back-up goalie Johan Hedberg played fairly well and made a couple of exciting saves on some breakaways. The rest of the third was pretty frenzied and ended in a 3-3 tie. OVERTIME! This was pretty fun, too, with neither side gaining the advantage. Then, with 33 seconds left, Stars forward Trevor Daley squeeked one in right in front of us. The place erupted, Stars win 4-3. My 5 year old son had a ball, I didn't think he'd be that into a 3 hour hockey game, but he couldn't take his eyes off it.

Three hockey tickets: $88.00
One hotel room: $39.00 (associate discount)
Two tanks of gas: $98.00
One Personal Pan Pizza and a large Dr. Pepper: $10.25
Two Shiner Bocks: $9.50
Introducing your son to controlled violence and poetry on ice: Priceless

Next Time:
Ballectomy consult review. (That's right...BALL-ectomy...use your imagination, genius.)

Money is taken out of every paycheck you receive. This is money YOU earned. It goes to Uncle Sugar (Uncle Sam). Then you send in your tax return telling Uncle Sugar how much you earned last year, and how much Uncle Sugar took from you. Uncle Sugar either took too much from you, in which case he decides to send you some back, or Uncle Sugar didn't take enough from you, then you get to send him MORE of your money.

Then there are tax credits. These are things that Uncle Sugar gives to those who are "less fortunate." The great thing about tax credits is that you can get back MORE tax money than you actually paid. Say you paid $1,000 dollars in income tax last year. Through the various tax credits that exist, you qualify for $2,000 dollars in income tax credits. Does Uncle Sugar consider that a wash and send you your $1,000 back? Fuck no! Uncle Sugar sends you $2,000 back, even though you didn't pay that much! Where does that other $1,000 come from? Well, it comes from some other schlub who earns more money than you. You, being a law-abiding citizen, would NEVER go hold a gun to a person's head and demand $1,000 from him, would you? No. Of course, we don't care if the Imperial Federal Government does it for us.

Another valuable resource for where income tax money comes from is found over at Rush Limbaugh's site. Scroll down to the bottom and look at the section "Only the Rich Pay Taxes." Of all the federal income taxes paid in this country, here's the breakdown on who pays how much:

The top 5% of wage earners pay 54.4% of the income taxes paid in the U.S.
The top 10% pay 65.8% of the taxes.
The top 50% pay 96.5% of the taxes.
The BOTTOM 50% of wager earners in this country ONLY PAY THREE AND A HALF PERCENT OF THE INCOME TAX BURDEN!

Who are the top 50%, are they multi-millionaires? Major corporate CEOs? Hardly. If you earned over $29,000 last year, YOU, my friend, are paying MOST of the income taxes.

Another thing to consider:
The top 5% earn 31.8% of the income earned in this country
The top 10% earn 42.4%
The top 50% earn 86%

What's fair about the top 5% paying over half the taxes, while earning less than a third of the country's income? What's fair about the top 10% paying over TWO THIRDs, and earning less than half?

To those of you who say that the "rich" won't miss their money, I ask you, who are YOU to decide how much of their own money a person can keep?

NEXT WEEK
A Dallas Stars vs. Minnesota Wild game review

For those of you who haven't seen it, a brief synopsis. SPOLIERS! It seems that the show Family Guy is going to be airing an episode in which they depict the prophet Muhammed. Muslims around the world are up in arms over this fact (sound familiar?) The citizens of South Park don't want the episode to air because they fear muslim reprisal. They decide to make a show of every citizen burying their head in the sand, thereby showing that they are not going to watch the episode in protest (burying their heads in the sand, get it?). Kyle wants the episode to air because he believes in free speech. Cartman doesn't want the episode to air because, HE says, he doesn't want the religion of Islam to be offended. We come to find out, though, that Cartman has an ulterior motive. He doesn't like Family Guy. He believes that if one episode is pulled, viewers will turn on the show and it will be cancelled. We learn that the writers of Family Guy will quit if they are not allowed to air the episode with Muhammad.

That's the first episode. It ends with a cliffhanger, Will Cartman succeed in his mission? Will Kyle win one for free speech? Tune in next week!

The second episode...will not be seen this week. Instead, we get a very special Terrance and Phillip episode (ala, Who is Carman's father?). This was great, I loved it. Of course, the Terrance and Phillip episode segues into the actual episode. You just know, though, that there were some people groaning in agony for the first few minutes of the episode. Cartman has made it to the FOX studio headquarters to get the episode pulled. He runs across a spiky-haired, yellow-skinned boy that decides to aid him in his quest. Seemed sort of familiar. Kyle arrives shortly thereafter and learns the truth about the writers of family guy and why they will quit if the episode is censored. Then Kyle and Cartman face off in a epic duel ala Anakin and Obi Wan. Afterward, the FOX president is convinced to go ahead with the episode by one of Kyle's gay little speeches. Just as the big moment in the episode arrives, however, we learn that Comedy Central has "censored" the image of Muhammad, so the viewer cannot see it. The muslims get all pissed of and as reprisal, air their own episode of Jesus and George Bush crapping all over an American flag. That'll teach us!

This episode was pure genius. South Park usually takes delight in skewering SOMETHING in an episode. This episode they skewer THREE things. One, there's a constant running gag that Family Guy is not funny because the jokes are all interchangeable and irrelevant to the plot. You have to see the episode, and be familiar with Family Guy, to get this. Two, it pokes fun at the idiocy of millions of Muslims in an uproar over a few stupid cartoons. Third, and most importantly, it chides Comedy Central over its decision to pull the episode where South Park makes fun of Scientology. Apparently, there are a lot of idiots out there who didn't get this and think Comedy Central ACTUALLY DID censor the image of Muhammad. Comedy Central had nothing to do with it, Matt and Trey did it themselves. How ANYONE could miss this based on the context of the episode is beyond me. Simply unbelievable.

In any event, this has to be one of the best satires I've seen in a long time. These guys know how to make fun of stuff. See it while you can. It's a two part episode, so I don't think it's going to be in heavy rotation as a re-run after this week.

1) Good Eats - Food Network - Wednesdays at 9:00pm CST (Reruns every night at 10pm CST
The most entertaining half hour about food on television. Alton Brown is a genius. My wife says I would marry him. If I was a chick. Or gay. I wouldn't go that far, but I wouldn't mind having a beer with the guy.

2) Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations - Travel Channel - Mondays at 9:00pm CST
I've been a fan since he had a show on Food Network, "A cook's Tour." Bourdain is another guy I wouldn't mind having a beer with.

3) South Park
Simply the greatest comedy ever to air on television.

4) CSI: Miami
David Caruso: Worst...Actor...in...a...Prime...Time...Drama...EVER! God, I love this show! In fact, check back soon for the CSI: Miami Drinking Game (tm).

Random Thought I hate Rammstein. The band, not the city. Why do they have to sing in German? They sound all hard and everything, but the dude could be singing about butterflies and warm fuzzy feelings and I wouldn't know it. I'd like to think he's singing about sacrificing virgins and kicking puppies around, but I just can't stand the uncertainty.

To those of you who say that these ILLEGAL aliens perform jobs that Americans aren't willing to do, I say "bullshit." Your argument is flawed on two levels. 1) You haven't always had Mexicans doing your lawn. Just think, there used to be a time when people *gasp* mowed their own fucking yard. Hell, when I was a kid, I was my dad's own form of slave labor. 2) "They do the jobs Americans aren't willing to do" is just another way of saying "Mexicans will mow our grass, and fix our roofs, and clean our shit." You're essentially saying that you want a group of second class citizens to perform jobs that are beneath Americans. What you are endorsing is a group of people in American who serve as our underclass. Please.

We're being invaded. That's right, our country is being overrun. Not with an army, not with guns, but it's the same. And Americans are just rolling over and letting it happen. Certain segments are talking about the "reconquistador."

Why even call the border between the US and Mexico a "border." A border denotes an line where one thing ends and another begins. The US-Mexican "border" isn't there. Does not exist.

What's the answer? I don't know. There's something like 20 million of them here. We can't put them in jail, can't go round them all up and bus them back to Mexico. The FIRST thing we need to do, though, is fix the border. Treat it like a REAL border. Let our Border Patrol do what they do, and carry guns. Personally, I think we out to make the entire US Mexican border a bombing range for the Air Force, Navy, and Marine Corps. Make it a mile wide swath along the whole border, with a 2-3 mile buffer at any roads that cross into Mexico, those areas can be patrolled by humans. Then just practice the hell out of bombing. No schedules, no warnings. If you're in that zone, you run the risk of a Mk 82 being dropped on your head. Post signs that say "El Dangero! El bombingo range-o. El fucking ducko!" on the US side of the border.

Is living breathing and consuming the fuel necessary to continue biological processes? Is it enough to merely exist to be considered alive? How many humans spend their lives merely getting from one day to the next? How many people simply "exist?" How many people breathe and eat and don't look for anything else out of their brief time here? I'm not happy just existing. I need to know things. I need to experience things I've never experienced. I need to feel anger, and hate, and love, and lust, and anticipation, and discomfort, and feel content, and enlightenment, and disappointment, and hope, and hopelessness.

But I don't feel those. I don't FEEL. I go through the motions. I breathe, and eat, and sleep, and work, all without thinking. Daily life is routine, almost subconcious, to the point where I don't have to THINK about it. I find that I am somewhere without realizing how I got there. I simply exist.

It's not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I don't want it.
I just need it.
To feel, to breathe, to know I'm alive.
-Tool